I was on a very crowded bus and an old woman with a walker gets on.
All the other passengers proceed to file on and take up the remaining standing places but she stands close to me, staring me in the eyes.
After 5 minutes of this, I kindly ask, ‘may I help you?’
She replies, “yes, I have been waiting here for 5 minutes now and you have not offered to give me your seat “
Can you give me a good reason why I should?”
I can give you 5. I am an old woman of 86, I have near paralysis in my left leg, a hip that has been replaced twice, my husband died 3 days ago and every second I stand up is pure agony. Can you give me as many reasons why you deserve the seat more?”
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No”, he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
“It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,” he explains.
“What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties…”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!”
The man explains, “Damn thing must be an hour fast.”
Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store as they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”
The second nun answered, “indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer.
Since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.
“I can handle that without a problem” the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out the cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.
“We use beer for washing our hair” the nun said, “back at our nunnery, we call it shampoo.”
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer.
He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: “The curlers are on the house.”
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m.
As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt.
Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house.
“Darling,” replied the man, “I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.”
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You liar! You’ve been playing golf!”
“From ‘Fatty’ to ‘Hottie’!” After shedding weight from 700 to 200 pounds, a girl finds herself in high demand for collaborations as a plus-size model.
At 28 years old, Amy weighed 700 pounds, which led her to drop out of school as she struggled with everyday tasks. She rarely left the house and couldn’t even shower by herself. Fortunately, she had a supportive boyfriend who appreciated her no matter what.
Her friends believed she would never be able to lead a normal, typical life again. After her latest examination, doctors cautioned her that her health was in serious condition and could deteriorate further. Ultimately, she made the decision to participate in a well-known show where experts would assist her in losing weight.
As a result, she successfully lost 200 pounds, earned her degree, and quickly found a profession that she enjoyed. To her surprise, her boyfriend ended their relationship afterward, feeling let down that Amy no longer required his assistance.
This girl demonstrated to everyone that having a goal can lead to positive life changes. What an inspiring story!
What are your thoughts on this? Feel free to share your opinions in the comments.
“From ‘Fatty’ to ‘Hottie’!” After shedding weight from 700 to 200 pounds, a girl finds herself in high demand for collaborations as a plus-size model.
At 28 years old, Amy weighed 700 pounds, which led her to drop out of school as she struggled with everyday tasks. She rarely left the house and couldn’t even shower by herself. Fortunately, she had a supportive boyfriend who appreciated her no matter what.
Her friends believed she would never be able to lead a normal, typical life again. After her latest examination, doctors cautioned her that her health was in serious condition and could deteriorate further. Ultimately, she made the decision to participate in a well-known show where experts would assist her in losing weight.
As a result, she successfully lost 200 pounds, earned her degree, and quickly found a profession that she enjoyed. To her surprise, her boyfriend ended their relationship afterward, feeling let down that Amy no longer required his assistance.
This girl demonstrated to everyone that having a goal can lead to positive life changes. What an inspiring story!
What are your thoughts on this? Feel free to share your opinions in the comments.
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are. ”The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age…”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!” Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?” Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…”We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having lunch when one of them says.
“I know that I’m going to have a boy.”
The other two women think about that for a moment, and then one of them says.
“OK, how do you know you’re going to have a boy?”
“Well, when the child was conceived.” Says the first woman.
“I was on top
So I’m going to have a boy.”
They sit and eat for a few minutes more, and then the second woman says.
“Well, I’m going to have a girl.”
“Okay.” Says the first one.
“How do you know you’re going to have a girl?”
“Well, when my child was conceived, I was on the bottom
So I’m going to have a girl.”
They sit and eat for a few minutes more, the third woman obviously getting more and more distressed, until finally, she breaks down into horrible sobbing?
“What’s wrong, what’s wrong?”
The first two women ask with concern.
The third woman manages to stifle her sobs long enough to only say one thing…
